I realize that I am trying to make myself someone I am not—or rather, I am fixated on the image of myself rather than my true being. It is not that I am NOT a business-type person, dressed up and meeting people for appointments, nor is it that I am NOT really a stay-home mom who is sloppy much of the time. I am neither—they are both outward things.
Why, still, do I confuse my “being” with my “doing”?
I am beginning to understand more and more that beautiful Michael Card song with its line “see with and not through the eyes.” It’s one of the paramount themes of John—the one I feel the Spirit pressing into my soul. Look past the seen and don’t get hung-up on the outer trappings—of yourself or others, “see” the truth of My presence, “know” beyond intellectual knowledge that I am GOD! And what I can see with my physical eyes (what too, too often holds my attention) is but a shadow of a very small portion of the true reality.
So as I walk to my office and think about the length of my pants, my inability to wear heels more than a few hours, my graying hair, I wish for a more Christ-centered gaze.
Who am I? I really don’t know and I’m not sure it matters.
But I know HIM—more and more each day—and that’s ALWAYS essential.